Political Euphemisms

 

The meanings vary over time and depend on context. This is why even intelligent people have trouble working out what politicians are actually trying to say:

fish                           girl
horse                        boyfriend/husband
shark                         investor
beef                           celebrity
cat                             wannabe CEO
fat cat                         successful CEO
dog                             girl?
rhino                           old investor
rhino horn                   old investor sex drive
elephant                      old husband
star wars                     recession
butterfly                        queen
plebs                            politicians/ plebians
light                              truth
tiger                             asia
moon                           woman
sun                              credit flow
coffee                          waking up to the truth
zombies                      not knowing the truth
apocalypse                  banks stop lending. World runs on debt
apple                            knowledge
dinosaur                       old aristocrat
alien                             aristocrat bred from annunaki
crocodile                      aristocrat
bear                             pessimist
bull                               optimist
dance                           swap between different ideological investors
sing                              tell the truth
fire                                trouble
wolf                              single girl
panda                          person seeing things black and white
sheep                          general public
muggle                        general public
slytherin                       aristocrats
bees                             startup ceos
pesticide                      bullying through fear
good                             bad
bad                               good
rock                              unmoveable person
no                                 yes
to be honest…              I’m lying
has full backing            they’re fired
yes                               no
definitely                       maybe
duck                             ?
dolphin                         girl?
whale                          older rich wife?
heat                             threatening to tell the truth
iron man                      a movie
…                                stuff left unsaid, said as a long pause with staring eyes. Like a                                          constipated psychopath
Pi                                 economic circle/cycle
mars                           system of regular wars/god of war
venus                          women
blue                             sex
WMD                           lies
defence                       murder
peace                          war planning
gravity                          fear
chattel                          slaves
asteroid                        fallen startup
star                               celebrity
comet                           unmarried startup
singers                         philosophers
bread                            money
LOL                               laugh out loud/lots of luv
frog                                french
coding                           rhetoric
rabbits                           single people (unlike married people they have sex occasionally!)
sunscreen                     buy gold
media circus                 the news
concrete jungle              the City
leverage                         government taxes
u-turn                             final decision
legacy                            “Too many twits make a…” – David Cameron (mistake or script?)
omnishambles               I have no constructive ideas

For anyone that has been offended by what they have just read I suggest they refer to George Orwell’s essay: ‘Politics and the English Language’ (1946) or to ‘dog-whistle politics’ on wikipedia.

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